你经常和家人聚在一起谈论生活中的问题或者每天发生的事吗？你所认为的“家庭沟通”是不是指在走向浴室，经过家人身边时点点头呢？交谈对于任何一种亲密关系都至关重要，而且对家庭沟通来说尤其关键。想改善你的家庭沟通技巧吗？试试这些简单的妙计吧……

Do you regularly get together to talk with your family about problems or the day’s events? Or is your idea of family communication nodding to one another as you pass each other on the way to the bathroom? Conversation is the key to any strong relationship, but family communication is especially important. Want to improve your family’s communication skills? Try implementing these simple steps…

1. Create opportunities for talking.

It’s no secret that Americans are overworked, overcommitted and overscheduled. Parents rush home from work to to take them to soccer practice, piano lessons and Girl Scout meetings, all before hitting the drive-through window to pick up fast food for dinner. Mix in kids who’d rather text their friends than chat with Mom or Dad, and we have a family communication crisis.

So what can you do? Make time for talking by reducing the number of activities your family is involved in each week ? the time it frees up for communication will be invaluable. And if you do find yourself in the car running from place to place, make a point to turn off the radio, the cell phones and the personal game players, and use that opportunity to catch up on the day’s activities.

2. Insist on family meals.

In addition to bringing everyone together for a wrap-up of the day’s activities, insisting on a few standing family meals creates ritual and routine that kids come to expect and look forward to. Use the family dinner table as an opportunity to share what’s going on in family members’ lives.

3. Go on individual dates with your children.

Spending time with each of your children lets them know that they matter and aren’t getting lost in the hubbub of a busy day or large family. Older teens might enjoy going out for a hamburger or a latte at their favorite coffee place. Younger children often enjoy going to the supermarket, especially when you let them select their favorite cereal or special dessert. Don’t forget your spouse or the older family members who live near you. Regular date nights for couples and lunches with aging parents keeps those relationships healthy, as well.

4. Remember the 80/20 rule.

When trying to improve any relationship, listening is far more important than talking, so when it comes to family communication, listen four times longer than you speak. Likewise, think twice about what you say before you say it. Sometimes a parent’s first reaction is to rant and scream, especially to negative news. Do your best to avoid this, and if you do verbally explode before your child is finished, apologize quickly and assure him or her that you’re now ready to listen.

5. Use technology to your advantage.

If the family computer’s been relegated to homework duties or surfing the Web, why not put it to work by creating a family newsletter that you publish monthly, just for your immediate family? Ask everyone in the family to contribute “articles” and information about themselves, then print out a copy for each person and hand deliver it. Or maybe you could create a family Web site or blog. This would be especially helpful to families that find keeping in touch more difficult as the kids grow up and move away. Or put your texting abilities to work to let your loved ones know you’re thinking about them. If your son is facing a big test one afternoon, for instance, send him a text message at lunch letting him know you’re behind him.

在两人的感情出现危机时，你是如何处理的呢？尽力化解矛盾，还是去找一个感情“备胎”？如果你们两人都想要维系这段感情，那就都不应该有“备胎”。但如果有人已不在意这段感情是否能够继续，那么最好马上分手，然后你们就都可以去寻找更适合自己的另一半了。

Dr. Saltz says it’s better to resolve a relationship than to keep a “backup”.

Q. The majority of my ex-girlfriends have had “fallback men” lined up in the latter stages of our failed relationships. I have never had a fallback woman lined up. I am currently in a timeout phase with my girlfriend. Should I start lining up women up now, because I am sure my current girlfriend has men lined up behind me?

A. No, I don’t suggest you keep fallback women lined up. Instead, you should resolve the situation with your girlfriend.

There are many reasons why people line up others as fallback partners. Often they fear being alone or fear what it means to be alone, especially if they derive their personal worth from being partnered up or buy into the erroneous view that couplehood enhances their value.

Sometimes, people hate not having someone to care for or to take care of them. If such people see singlehood on the horizon, they make doubly sure there is somebody else on deck.

Breakups are difficult even if you are the one initiating the split. In many ways, a breakup is a loss or a failure. You might feel guilty. Sometimes you like the person even if you don’t wish to remain romantically together permanently.

So, when suspecting there might be a breakup soon, it feels much better to be swept up in the excitement of a new person rather than tolerating feelings of sadness, loneliness or guilt.

But it is healthier to spend time figuring out why the relationship didn’t work, what you might do differently next time, whether the relationship was worth saving or how you might choose a more suitable partner.

The key is the quality of the relationship. Maybe it is worth saving and maybe it isn’t.

All relationships go through bleak periods and rough patches. That doesn’t mean it is a bad relationship. But it’s hard to evaluate that if there is always a fallback person who, by definition, presents a rosier picture. With a new person, the negatives have not yet presented themselves.

努力工作和明智花钱不只是你应该做的事，它们近乎是一种美德，而这样做最终可以使你从生活中得到更多的乐趣。当你能用机智的方法完成重要的事情时，你不会有任何后悔和遗憾。以下是我在生活中努力做到的11条理财金规：

Working hard and being smart with your money aren’t things you just should do because they seem virtuous; these behaviors ultimately allow you to get more enjoyment out of life. You’ll have no regrets when you’re able to accomplish what’s important to you because of your savvy ways. These are 11 golden rules that I try to live by:

Live within your means - In order to be truly independent, it’s imperative to live within your means. Your freedom is limited by owing money to anyone, whether it’s a credit card company or a family member, so set yourself up for an unrestricted life by saving for the things you want and spending with a plan.

Work hard - Your job and the salary you command are your biggest assets in building wealth. Do your best at work and take the steps to make yourself indispensable to set yourself up for the highest level of success.

Research before you act - Whether you’re comparing travel package and a la carte prices for a vacation or looking up a company to see if it’s legitimate, research is almost always worth your time.

Avoid buyer’s remorse - Feeling guilty just doesn’t sit well. Avoid buyer’s remorse by asking yourself these questions before making a purchase: Do I love it? How often would I wear or use it? Can I afford it? Could I find it cheaper somewhere else?

Go for quality, not quantity - Stuffing your closet with items that will fall apart in three months is a silly way to spend your hard earned cash. Buy a smaller quantity of things that are made to last, and you’ll be the owner of higher quality items that look and feel like they’re worth your money.

Face your weaknesses head-on - We’re not perfect, but admitting that you have weaknesses and doing your best to improve will allow you to continue growing. Invest time in yourself to be the most well-rounded person you can be.

Save for the predictable and the unexpected - We’re all going to face retirement someday, and the best time to save for it is now. The golden years are inevitable. On the other hand, we also need to be prepared for the unexpected, like job loss or a medical emergency, so that we can remain in control of our finances even when other things aren’t going our way.

Negotiate - Doors aren’t closed until you hear the word no. Negotiating things like salary and benefits can get you ahead of the game, and all you need is the confidence to ask.

Set goals on top of goals - Cap the feeling that you’re going through the motions by revising your goals when you’ve accomplished your old ones. Whether it’s saving for a vacation to a place you’ve always wanted to visit or considering the next step in your career, there’s always something to keep you moving and motivated.

有没有吸引力并不取决于你赚多少钱，也不取决于你的老爸是谁。而且，这完全不取决于你是否长得像汤姆·克鲁斯或者他的妻子凯蒂·赫尔姆斯。这仅仅取决于一些简单的细节，像汤姆·克鲁斯一样的人也不一定能办到。而来自任何种族，任何国家，任何背景的人，都能成为世界上最有吸引力的人。

It’s not about how much money you make, and it’s not about who your daddy is. And no, it’s definitely not about whether you look like Tom Cruise or his wife Katie Holmes … What it is about is these simple things, things that maybe even a person like Tom Cruise does not have.

And note, we are not necessarily talking about sexual (male attract female) things here. We’re talking about being attractive in general, whether it’s on a job interview or just gaining the respect of your colleagues . . .

Ask lots of questions

In other words, be humble. If you come across as a know-it-all (even if you really do know it all!), it really pushes people away. Rather, asking lots and lots of questions (even dumb ones) makes people feel like you care, you can be trusted, and you are… humble.

Great posture

Have you ever seen a potentially very attractive person, but they have terrible posture? It’s all ruined, isn’t it? Or perhaps you have seen someone who perhaps could be quite ugly but they have great posture and so suddenly they are really attractive? It’s true. Your posture says a lot about you - it says whether you have confidence, or simply if you really care. Talking physically, it is one of the most important physical characteristics you need!

Walk like you mean it

Walk with an attitude. Walk like you know where you’re going, and do so with good posture. Walk like you’ll run over anyone who even attempts to hassle you. If you walk like this, you’ll be spotted from a mile away.

Stay busy

Do you really know the power of this? We’re told to stay busy to ward off depression and feelings of anxiety. But did you know you should also stay busy to be really attractive? It’s true. Always have something to do. Have you ever seen someone just sitting around, doing nothing? How unattractive. Always be busy with something, even if for some reason you have to make something up.

Show your pearly whites (or just smile)

Smile more, no matter how ugly your teeth are. I’m not kidding about this one. It’s not all about the teeth. If you are smiling genuinely, you can draw everyone for 100 meters around to you.

Keep your lips smooth

Moisturize your lips. It’s hard to even look someone in the face if their lips are cracked and dry. And it’s hard to believe that they really care about anything. That’s just the way we humans think. So for cryin’ out loud carry around a tube of chap stick around with you … they’re only like a buck a pop, and they’ll last you a while even if you put it on as regularly as I am eluding to! And no, women, it’s not necessarily about the lipstick (although, yes, there is a time and place for it) … it’s more about the simple, natural beauty of supple lips. Caution! Don’t put so much on that it’s just scary, however. But I didn’t need to tell you that, right?

Wear what fits

Wear clothing that fits you. Too tight, people are distracted. Too loose, you just look sloppy. For women, wearing tight pants or shirts is not attractive. If you’ve got it, don’t flaunt it - it ruins it for your man (there are a few things best left to the imagination, honey). Loose, slightly clingy or drapey things are best, or else things that just fit you and your shape well but not tight. Men, us women with taste and style really don’t know why some guys think their pants sagging down is somehow attractive. It’s not! And neither is huge, wide leg pants. Both just tell us you don’t really care. You’re following the crowd. Wear things that fit you nicely, please . . . And for goodness sake, both sexes, stay away from logos and printed shirts! Most people you may ask do not find this attractive. Stop being some company’s billboard, and show us you.

Be interested in other man

Be interested in the other person. Again, ask them questions. Don’t talk about yourself … remove attention from yourself. If you are genuinely interested in the person, it will come across. And if you want to talk about yourself, you’ll find that putting the other person first actually opens him up to return the favor and ask you questions. See how fun this is?

Put away inhibitions

Ok, there is a time and a place to play shy. But, for the most part, putting away inhibitions makes people feel comfortable around you. Even if you go ahead and do something and totally mess it up, it really makes everyone comfortable around you and want to be around you. People are fragile, especially those who don’t put into practice what I’m saying in this article. And so that means they need someone like you to lean on.

So, yes it is possible to be the most attractive person in the world. If you’ve noticed the ring throughout the article, it has a lot to do with just being confident in who you are. Nobody needs to look like Tom Cruise or Will Smith or their wives, or anyone else for that matter. Every person, of every race, of every nationality, of every background, can be the most attractive person in the world .