1. 因为爱你 所以爱你

    because i love you，so i love you

    2. 因为你爱我 所以我爱你

    because you love me，so i love you

    3. 因为世界上没有人比我更爱你

    because no one in the world love you more than me

    4. 因为无时无刻想著你

    because i miss you every moment

    5. 因为你的温柔体贴

    because of your gentleness and considerate

    6. 因为你的坦白率真

    because of your frankness

    7. 因为你那可爱的笑容

    because of your lovely smile

    8. 因为你那迷人的眼睛

    because of your charming eyes

    9. 因为你的一举一动都让我著迷

    because your every action make me fascinated

    10. 因为你所散发出来的高贵气质

    because of your noble disposition

    11. 因为抱著你的感觉是这么温暖

    because of the warmth when i hold you in my arms

    12. 因为一个人寂寞的时候只有你陪著我

    because only you accompany me when i am lonely

    13. 因为爱你让我充满自信

    because loving you makes me confident

    14. 因为你的任性

    because of your wilfulness

    15. 因为照顾你是我的责任

    because it is my responsibility to look after you

    16. 因为有些是不必说出来你就能明白

    because of something you can understand without my explaination

    17. 因为只有你最了解我的个性

    because only you know of my personality best

    18. 因为只有你能包容我的一切

    because only you can tolerate everything of mine

    19. 因为没有你我就不知该如何活下去

    because i dont know how to continue my life without you

    20. 因为有你我的生活充满快乐

    because of you , my life is full of happines

    人之初：At the beginning of life.

    性本善：Sex is good.

    性相近：Basically,all the sex are same.

    习相远：But it depends on how the way you do it.

    苟不教：If you do not practise all the time.

    性乃迁：Sex will leave you..

    教之道：The way of learning it

    贵以专：is very important to make love with only one person.

    昔孟母：Once a great mother, Mrs Meng

    择邻处：chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.

    子不学：If you don’t study hard,

    断机杼：Your Dick will become useless.

    窦燕山 Dou, the Famous

    有义方 owned a very effective exciting medicine

    教五子 All his five son took it

    名俱扬 and their sexual ability were well-kown.

    养不教 If your children don’t know how to do it,

    父之过 It is all your fault.

    教不严 If they had lots of problems with it,

    师之惰 their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex.

    子不学 You may refuse to study this

    非所宜 but that is a real mistake

    幼不学 If you don’t learn it in childhood,

    老何为 you will lose your ability when aged

    玉不琢 If you don’t exercise your dick,

    不成器 It won’t become hard and strong.

    人不学 If you don’t learn sex,

    不知义 You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

英语中有好多一语双关的幽默句子，现在为大家摘录一些常用幽默迷你句型，以供参考，据说是流传甚广的加菲猫语录哦。

    1. Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard and Visa.

    钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。

    2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.

    每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

    3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.

    要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。

    4. Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.

    要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。

    5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.

    每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个或更多。

    6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

    再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。

    7. The wise never marry，and when they marry they become otherwise..

    聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

    8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

    成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。

    9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

    不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。

    10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

    爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

    11. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.

    后座上的小孩会生出意外，后座上的意外会生出小孩。

    12. “Your future depends on your dreams.”So go to sleep.

    现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。

 我们许多中国人爱用俗语、成语、俚语。由于中美两国文化、风俗、思想、习惯的差异，如果照字直译，或把单字「堆在一起」，老外听了，也许就会「满头雾水」、「迷迷糊糊」，成了他们所说的「只有你们中国人听得懂」的「中国英文」（Chinese English）。

    在此，把一些常见的中文俗语与一般老外的说法相对比较，或许可供有兴趣的读者参考。

    1. 人山人海：有人直译为：People mountain people sea.

    这就是「中国英文」，老外很难理解。他们指「人多」时，通常只说：「There is a large crowd of people.」如果看到电影院门前大排长龙，也只说：「There is (was) a long movie line.」

    不过在诗词用语 (poetic expression) 里，老外也有使用：「a (the) sea of faces」，颇有咱们「人山人海」的味道。例如：

    Looking out upon the sea of faces, Mr. A delivered a touching speech.（望着一片人山人海的听众， A先生发表一篇动人的演说。）

    Standing at his podium, President Clinton saw a sea of faces waving at him.（柯林顿总统站在讲台上看到人山人海的人群挥手向他致意。）

    可见，说话者通常要在台上或高处，才有「人海」的感觉。因此，可以说：I saw a sea of faces from the top of the building. 但在平地的人群中，就不说：「I saw the sea of faces.」也不说：「There is a sea of faces.」只说：「I saw a large crowd of people.」

    2. 家家有本难念的经：有人译成：Every family cooking － pot has a black spot. (意思是：每个家庭的锅子都有黑色的污点)

这样说法，老外恐怕不能充分了解。不过老外最常的说法是：

    Many families have skeletons in the closet. (许多家庭的衣柜里都有骨骸) (骨骸就是指家丑)

    或者说：

    Every family has its own source of shame. (每个家庭都有自己的丑事)

    说白些，就是：

    Every family has its own problem.

    3. 天下无不散的宴席：有人直译为：There are no feasts in the world which do not break up at last.

    老外听后，也许很难体会其中意义。如果按照美语说法，也许更易理解：

    All good things come to an end. (意思是：所有好的事情，总有结束的一天。)

    假如是指好友最后也有分别的一天，那么可以说：

    Eventually, all bosom friends will drift apart. (bosom friend 是指知心的好友)

    4. 平时不烧香，临时抱佛脚：有人照字直译为：When times are easy, we do not burn the incense,but when the trouble comes, we embrace the feet of the Buddha.

    这种说法，老外也会「一知半解」。美语里一般说法是：

    Worship God every day; not just in times of adversity. (要每天敬拜神，不是只在困难时。)

    对学生也可以说：

    If you study hard every day, exams will not seem overwhelming. (如果你每天用功，考试就不会形成压力。)

    5. 挂羊头，卖狗肉：有人照字直译为：He advertises mutton, but sells dog’s flesh. 或 He hangs up a sheep’s head at the shopfront and sells dog meat.

    这两种译法，恐怕老外都难理解，尤其谈到「狗肉」，他们更会「反感」，因为狗是他们最爱的宠物，不过老外倒有相近的说法：

    He applied bait-and-switch factics in business. (他经商的策略是先引诱顾客来，再改变货物的品质。)

    (Bait-and- switch 当名词用) (也可不用连字号)

    This store uses bait and switch policy.

    或者简单的说：

    Let the buyer be aware! (让消费者提高警觉) ; 或

    Say one thing and do another.

    6. 一言既出，驷马难追：有人译成：One word lets slip and four horses will fail to catch it. 或 A statement that once let loose cannot be caught by four galloping horses.

    这两种说法，中文味道嫌重，老外未必理解。不过他们倒有类似的说法：

    A word once let go cannot be recalled.

    或者说：

    You can not take back what you have said. (你说出的话，就不能再收回来。)

    7. 祸从口出，言多必失：有人译为：The mouth is the gate of misfortune and evil.

    老外听了，恐怕不能完全理解。最好说成：

    Careless talk leads to trouble. (不小心说话，会带来麻烦); 或

    The less said the better. (说的愈少愈好)

    甚至也可以说：

    Shut the mouth and open the eyes. (闭嘴少说，张眼多看。)

题目——

    1. What changes a pear into a peal?

    2. What question is that to which you must always answer “yes”?

    3. What two words contain thousands of letters?

    4. Where were you when the power was cut off?

    5. Four boys have a basket with four pears in it .How can you divide the pears so that each boy gets a whole pear and one remains in the basket?

    6. What is the smallest bridge in the world ? 　　

    7. Why is the letter E so important?

    8. Mike, the truck driver ,came to a stop.The bridge over the road is too low,and he couldn’t drive his truck under it. Mike thought “My larry is only 5cm too tall.Must I really turn round and go back?”he thought about it some more;then he smiled .A few minutes later ,he past the bridge and on his way again .

知道答案的可在comments说明，期待你的参与。